Self-Examination…

Everything I'm not…Makes me Everything I am…

My Motivation for Success… Part II

Growing up it was a little easier for me than most because I have the greatest parents. Then I got to college and that is when I began to have struggles of my own. To start it off, I had a back injury and I was unable to play football and it all went downhill from there. My parents had done so much for me I began to try to do those things on my own because I didn’t feel that I should be asking them for anything if I’m not trying to help myself. So instead of asking, I just continued to struggle. I had so many jobs not even they knew about. I refuse to even put them on my resume because I think they are dumb and I am embarassed or they didn’t even last long enough. I began to wonder why I was even trying to do this.

One thing I always knew once I got into college was that I would be working for myself one day. One day I would not have to rely on anybody elses success but my own and I would pay my parents back for having such a wonderful childhood. I would tell myself this everyday. But even when I told myself this, I would even have my own doubts about it. I wasnt sure that it could ever happen. All of this time I would just hope that it would work out but I had very little faith in myself or anything else.

I remember living in Los Angeles with 8 friends in a 5 bedroom house. I didn’t even have my own room. I didn’t have a closet. I was living out of my suitcase that everyone knew was mine the whole time. I would be sleeping on an old beat up couch that was even too short for me and my 5’4″ frame. The place had potential, but with the way we lived it wasn’t the nicest place to be. To top it off, I didn’t have a car either. I would go to LenDale’s every once in a while in downtown L.A. so I could find my hunger again because at this time I had begun to develop a lazy personality even when it came to school and it had an effect on my academic progress. I couldn’t let my parents know this and I didn’t want to disappoint them so I had to change this.

At this time, I had also began to gain a lot of weight because I was living off of happy hour food, free meals from credit card offers and anything else I could get. I began to take what my parents gave me and tried to stretch it by using the dollar menu and we all know that menu isn’t the healthiest of them all. I put on 40 pounds in my first year of college. I believe my confidence had been shot now. I was having a little fun, but all in the wrong ways. Believe me, I found ways to enjoy myself. I was living in one of the biggest cities with way more energy than I could handle and beautiful women. The women weren’t even that interested in me with my short stature and growing belly. But that’s another story. I began to grow out my hair and eventually had braids. I was going in the wrong direction and fast!

I always knew I wanted to do something that I loved. I just had no idea what it was at the time and I wasnt as motivated to find it as I thought I would have been. I didn’t feel I was qualified to do anything yet. Then came the call…

I would be having a baby…

Stay tuned for part III.

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December 21, 2009 - Posted by | Inspiration, My Life... |

2 Comments »

  1. can’t wait wait for part iii…

    Comment by twin | December 22, 2009 | Reply

    • Coming soon! Thanks for reading…

      Comment by Sean White | December 28, 2009 | Reply


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